I would say,
Know me 、 the ego
I often feel that a person who knows himself will not lead a worse life.
I came to Canada to study when I was 16, no one taught me anything about how to living, when I was in university, no one taught me how to get along with others. I was addicted to a Korean reality show because this is the way I learn how to be a person. I used to blame my mum why she did not tell me anything. But when I grew up, I realized not every parent would teach their children, and not every parent would talk to their children. Also, maybe because I have a strong personality, so nobody would willing to teach me because they know they would fail of persuading me. This also became my power and authority. So the situation is complex here. Ultimately, I became the person who knows myself well. I know what I want, even though sometimes it is hard to get, but it is better than wandering around aimlessly. Also, I could accept the consequences of my choices and regret every decision.
It is also interesting, when I started to work, I found I am not that interested in reality shows anymore. I am not interested in random celebrities’ life. I know what I want and what I would do so there is no point to follow. Maybe because I had too much time when I was in school, but now I need more time to earn money
I have to understand my vanity, to understand my greed, to understand my own childish, to understand my own amorous, to understand my eloquence, to understand my scheming, to understand my truth, good and beautiful, to understand my bad taste.
When I know what I am running away from, and I know which parts might be my weakness in the future. I know why I take to something like a duck to water, and I know how to assert my authority. I know what kind of person I am attracted to, and I know how valuable that quality is to me.
I often look back at myself again and again, and instead of trying to erase my mistakes, I embrace them. Because I know myself, then whether it’s right or wrong, I know I have to face it all.
No one in this world can accompany me to undertake all. Friends, lovers, parents, no matter how close the relationship, not. I should know this by the time I was a teenager, and let my mental self become my constant companion.
I will always pull away from myself, to be a spectator, to tell myself what I am doing. Instead of trying to talk to someone.
Standing in the narrow mouth of time, I am all alone but very brave.
Thank you for sharing your time with me. Please LIKE this blog if you enjoy the reading.
You can also leave a comment so we can talk.