I Think…I Can Control My Life Now

I would say I have the dedication to work that I enjoy my works. My works are the things I enjoy doing, I love to do and I am good at so I made them be my work, otherwise, I would resistant to do the thing I do not like, hardly. In other words, it like escaping, from the things I do not like to do.


Working is the thing that makes my life keep going, anything that can be seen as leisure I will learn thing from it, or else, I will not do them. Like reading, watching TV shows and movies, I can learn things from these, even though you may see these as playing. In conclusion, I do not think I have life.

On the other hand, I found it is hard for me to control my temper. I can only focus on doing one thing once, otherwise, I would be aggressive. I know it is a bad thing that I would harm others unintentionally and leave a bad impression to others. But it is super hard for me to control it and there are always multiple things I need to get done.


Especially in these two months, I need to deal with the car maintenance, my immigration application, changing the home internet, vaccine shoot, my photoshoot taking, the package from China, the non-sense customs charge from UPS, socializing parties do not want to attend but have to. Now, finally, there are no more “life” things I need to do.

I can not keep a life-work balance in these two months as I got so many “life” things to do. I would say this is the true tattoo of “Grew Up”. And I enjoy this moment that I do not have anything on my to-do list except my work.


The deep think of the reason

I enjoy trying everything before, everything was unknown to me. It also took time to know everything. But we did not need to worry at all as we had plenty of time before. However, my life is full of everything now. It does not mean I do not have curiosity now, but not that much.

The true “Grew Up” to me is not saying we know some great truth. That is something illusory, subjective, has no principle, and can be altered later. The true “Grew Up” is taking control of our entire life, wich incluses buying houses, buying cars, having the own business, the things that needed to be done.

I was studying and now I am contributing to society. There is no time for trial and error now because it is so easy to disrupt my pace of life. Then I found it is hard for me to adjust to the pace of life. The life-work balance becomes tough for me. I want to do things in my world and I do not want to do anything beyond my expectation. Once something jumps out of my world, I do not think my life will be able to continue.

It sounds pathetic, but I am truly thrilled because I can control my life now! Cheer for me!

Hope you can enjoy this blog.

Please LIKE this blog if you enjoy the reading.


Author: Anfy

Dream(ak)er. Graduate of the University of Toronto. Studied Architecture, Visual Arts, and Art History. Freelance fashion model, video maker/ social media manager, UX/UI designer. Being expressive makes me alive, being creative makes me curious.

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