Lately, I’ve been thinking about the flow of events shape a person’s life. Every choice we make now impacts the sort of choices we’ll have to make in the future. There are infinite realities and infinite ways things could have happened- and that’s a big cause of regret. Because we never know if a choice we’ve made was truly the best one.
Photography and image editing provided by the passionate and talented Samantha.
Block out the infinity
Yes, there are different realities out there and some are better then others. For example, if I had chosen to specifically study graphic design instead of fashion, I’d have a larger portfolio and more professional experience. Perhaps I’d already have a stable job with agency or be further along in freelancing. But what’s the point of thinking about other realities which we have no control over when we’re living in this one? Mindfulness is being present in the moment and accepting it as is.
You could double question yourself no matter what you did
Learning to be okay with my choices was a huge step for me in learning to let go of regrets. I’ll give you a silly example. Imagine you’re choosing between two people to go to prom with (yes, this was a real problem for me!) Person A is very good looking, social, has their own car, and would make the picture perfect prom date. Person B is reserved, but sweet and genuinely wants to make sure you have a good time. Imagine you chose person A, but they got a huge zit the day of prom and wouldn’t stop being paranoid about it the whole night. You might be questioning if it would have been better to choose person B. Now imagine you chose person B, but they stumble all over themselves on the dance floor and end up embarrassing the two of you. You’d be thinking what if you chose person A.
It wasn’t all for nothing
I’ve had so many cases where I put tons of time and effort into something and it didn’t pay off as expected. I’d tear my hair out over thoughts like “I could’ve done this differently,” or “I could’ve focused more on that”, or “my ideas were all garbage from the start.” It feels like I gave my all and it was pointless in the end.
Thing is, no matter how badly you screw up, there is always something to be learned. As trivial as “learning experience” seems in comparison to success, it is still better than absolutely nothing. If I had made a ton of mistakes and regretted making those mistakes so much that I learned nothing from them…well it would have truly been for nothing.
Trust your instinct
I believe that all humans are capable of using instincts or sixth sense. You may be like me and be extremely instinct driven. Or you may be totally on the logical side. Point is, we’re all capable of making choices that somehow turn out for the better, which we don’t even understand. Sometimes the subconscious can act for us.
There was a time in my past when a group of people were trying to get closer to me. But I pushed them away. Back then, I regretted it a lot. And I wanted to take it back. I didn’t even understand why I did it. But years later, I realized that they were not good people. They did not see me as an equal or care for my well being. They only saw me as someone who could help them with their own agendas. I like to believe it was my subconscious protecting me from getting into a very toxic situation.
Anyways, thank you for sticking with me on one of my longer posts.
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