This question is an easy one, and also an incredibly painful one.

My father’s accident back in Nov 2015 changed not only his life ,but also all our family members’.

With his accident, everything changed. He was no longer the physically strong, active golf-loving active person he used to be. It was the most difficult and sad thing I witnessed.

However, life somehow took over and our family including myself had to adjust to a new life style. Visiting and caring for him at the hospital/rehab every day became the “new normal: all of us got used to it.  

Even though it was the saddest five years in our family’s life, the period turned out to be the biggest time for me to “grow”.  

Although I did not have the wisdom back then, I recognize how much I understand the type of person I am.

Back then, my daily emotional state depended on how my father’s days were. Seeing his improvement on one day, I was the happiest person and then the next day, seeing him in a wheelchair caused anger I did not know who to direct to.

It truly was a rollercoaster of emotions throughout those five years of time.

He passed away back in 2020, and I still remember his last day vividly. 

 There were many conflicting emotions I went through; sadness of not having him around, questions of how our family can go on without him, and also the relief of him no longer suffering in this life.

The word, “growing” is not an accurate one since I would go through the same exact emotions/confusions if I were to lose someone I love in the future. I don’t think I would be a “grown” person just because I had the same previous experience.

The better word to describe my sad, difficult period of life would be awareness. I am aware of many difficult, unfair, sad things that can happen in life.

I wrote about my father’s passing years ago in more detail.