Why the word, “humbled” has lost its meaning

The word humbled bothers me. 

More accurately, I am bothered by people who use it.

Scrolling through social media posts, I see many people with amazing accomplishments; getting published in their research/articles, job promotions, and being the speaker for some events. The list goes on and on…

Even though the reasons vary, many start with the same word, humbled to describe/announce their achievements. 

Seeing the sea of many humbled announcements – and feeling depressed at the lack of my humbling news – I wonder why I am bothered by seemingly the kind-hearted, good, positive, unassuming, self-effacing word, humbled. 

Am I being a sour loser who does not have much to be humbled about?

Culture of Social Media

Social media is very much a part of our lives, whether you believe in it or not.  

I am in the middle camp of not an active user, but an active scroller. It is difficult to ignore the social media land when everyone you know (and would like to know) is part of the virtual world.

Being asked to join years ago by one of my closest friends, I came to use it a lot more than the friend who initially asked to join. We actually use our ancient social media platform: phone calls.

A few months ago, I had a chance to share my good news through a LinkedIn post: getting nominated for teaching awards at OCAD University.  

Coming back from a five-year teaching hiatus, and navigating the new teaching mode-online classes – there were many firsts, and also the hiccups along the way.

However, finding out that I got nominated by some students for my teaching skills/qualities was both surprising and felt ecstatic!

Reading students’ letters and learning about how I made them feel comfortable, engaging and even being the role model to one Asian student brought on many emotions; happiness, gratitude and also the affirmation of my teaching style.

With this unexpected but happy news, I was ready to share the good news with my virtual friends. Time to start bragging writing about my good news.

While trying to come up with the right (aka non-bragging) word to describe my news, I started to think of everyone’s favourite word, humbled.

Do I really truly feel the insignificance, inferiority, or low rank like the dictionary meanings of the word?

Or some other emotions?

Craving for compliments

My genuine feelings about the news were pride, accomplishment, ability, and adeptness (new teaching online classes). Most importantly, I felt grateful to those students who took the time to write such kind and informative letters.

As I saw the blinking cursor on the screen, I started typing away my exact feeling at the moment; I am extremely happy to share my teaching award news… It was the most genuine reaction I had at the moment. 

I decided to share my true joy/happiness while recognizing that some people might be offended by my lack of “humbled” style in announcing the news.  

Turns out that I am not the only person who is less than enthusiastic about the word, humbled.

Reading an essay written by someone and his distaste for the word. The writer described the word humbled as a calculated falsehood. Ouch!

I don’t completely agree with the “calculating” part since I have met many people who are genuinely shy, modest, bashful and even self-effacing.  

However the rest of us, including yours truly certainly have some hidden motivation behind using the word, humbled.

After uttering the word, we are all waiting to get our gold stickers: like buttons, great job, well done etc comments.

Essentially, we are waiting to add more “gold stickers” to our initial announcement! In other words, we are “craving more complements” to validate our happiness.

I recognize there would be many (frequent humbled word users) who would disagree on this somewhat un-scientific, and also even a sore-loser sentiment.  

My theory on this frequent use of the word, humbled, started with the use of social media. Even though the word has been around for centuries, the use of the word kick-started during our share everything social media culture.  

As for my attempt at being authentic with strangers followers by expressing my extreme happiness about a recent accomplishment, I also received one very genuine comment from a stranger.  

With the like button added, the person started with a typical congratulatory note and then added the following comment; refreshing to see such an open and genuine way of sharing.

Instead of calling me an egomaniac who loves to bask in her own happiness, my new friend agrees with me on the significance of authenticity even in virtual interactions.

Authenticity trumpets over modesty every time

Many years ago, I watched Julia Robert’s Oscar win and distinctively remember her winning acceptance speech. 

She started with the “I am shamelessly happy” comment, and followed with thanking many people she worked with on the film.

I was struck with the “shameless” part. Why would she feel the negative emotion at her milestone achievement, and describe it as a shame?  

It probably has something to do with four other rejected nominees and also the social norm of modesty. It is not becoming for a person to be boasting, bragging…not being humbled. 

Listening to her honest and unusual award speech, I became a true fan of Ms. Roberts!  

She was the kind of person I would ask questions and advice knowing that she would say the things she truly believes in, and more importantly how she feels.

Who would be against having such a friend!

While my cynical friends told me that the speech was probably written by her publicist, I still think Julia Roberts rocked, ok maybe her publicist rocked!  

Even if my friend was right, the decision to say those somewhat uncomfortable words in front of all those people in the audience, as well as everyone in the world watching the show, I am certain that she believed in those words.

Final Thought

The word, humbled has different connotations in today’s share everything world.  

They are used by many, and for every occasion, especially in the ever more crowded virtual world we live in.

Seeing everyone’s feeds starting with the “I am humbled…” comment makes me keep scrolling, rather than stopping to read.  

Even if I admit the tinge of envy in seeing everyone else’s accomplishment, I cannot help but think that the issue also has a lot to do with omni presence in our choice of words.

Expressing the true happiness in your success/achievement is the best form of being real, and we all look for those real people to connect with!

The next time I have something to share with anyone, virtually or not, I am going to insert the word, shamelessly like Julia Roberts did years ago:-)