Over the past weeks, Onah and I have been talking about starting a new category. We wanted a section unlike fashion, architecture, and interior design. A section dedicated to personal stories that bring us closer to you than my usual how-to’s and fashion throwbacks. Here, we’ll talk about career, lifestyle, health, and happiness (more life outside the design studio). I am so excited to share the first post of “life”- life tips from successful women that have really stuck with me.
Treat your career like a bad boyfriend -Amy Poehler
In a chapter of Yes Please, Amy compares a career to a bad boyfriend (or a bad significant other). Note that “career” and “passion” are different. Passion is a kind auntie who will give you hugs and cook you food. Passion will encourage you and drive you forward when you’re ready to quit. Whereas, your job will not prioritize you. It will not consider your feelings or hold you when you cry. It will not remember your birthday or make you feel special in any way. You can shower a bad boyfriend with affection, but it’s not always reciprocated.
What I gather from this is to not let work-life take over your life-life. Don’t become complacent and start de-prioritizing yourself. Always keep in mind what really makes your life great. Things like passion for what you do, long-term goals, and your loved ones who do support you.
Your ex is your ex for a reason – Lily Singh
I love this chapter of How to be Bawse (actually, I love the whole book) because it’s applicable to all areas of life. For example, a bad friendship you had to break off or an opportunity you ended up not taking. It’s easy to miss something someone in retrospect and forget why you had to move on in first place.
For example, I my first real boyfriend was really sweet to me for the first few weeks of dating. He was considered a popular guy too and I was completely star struck. We realized that we didn’t have much in common and he never really wanted to spend time with me. I was quite devastated when he broke up with me, but eventually I moved on. Then, one year later, I started having all these regrets. I’d think to myself “what if I was boring?” or “I could’ve done this better”. Point is, I forgot why the relationship didn’t work out and began doubting myself. It’s okay to miss people no longer part of your life, but it’s important to realize that they’re not around anymore for a reason and you’re better off without. I still have to remind myself of this sometimes.
Have “negativity time” – Charlotte Crosby
Charlotte’s memoir, Me Me Me, is absolutely hilarious! I’ve looked like a crazy girl laughing to it on the subway! There are many life tips Charlotte gives about things like having a thick skin or not taking yourself too seriously. My favorite is “negativity time”.
A positive attitude is a vastly important part of having an enjoyable life, but nobody can be positive all the time. It’s better to let out all the negativity in a controlled situation than to blow up in public. Having an amazing best friend who I can rant to about anything in life that’s been bothering me has been sooo helpful. Sometimes you just need to get together with some friends and complain about things. Then, when everything’s off your chest, it’s much easier to be positive again. Sometimes, I find it hard to pull myself out of a negative mindset, which is why talking with someone helps. They can actually say “Jin, you need to snap out of it now and be yourself again.”