Two things I’d tell my nineteen year old self

In an ideal world, I’d be immortalized at nineteen (I’m turning nineteen for the fourth time this year). Maybe I’d be a vampire…they’re pretty cool. Rest assured, I’d be the type that drinks animal blood though. As extra as it sounds, it feels like it’s been a lifetime ago since I turned nineteen for the first time. I’ve definitely grown over the years, although there are still things I’m working on. This week, I’m back at it again with a personal topic. Here are some important things I would definitely travel back in time to tell myself.

P.s, no judging my cover image! This is me in my natural habitat. Like the unicorn slippers?

Quantity is not quality

This is probably one of the all-time list toppers. The number of people in your life is not an indicator of how many people truly care about you. There was a Korean drama called 49 Days I watched that was about topic. It’s cheesy and exaggerated, but I’d still recommend it for anybody who’s into dramas.

Anyways, I love meeting new people, but there was a time when I was too caught up in it. I’d talk to so many people, but when my mental health tanked, there were only handful who I was close enough with to confide in. People cared about me in the superficial sense, but only a handful took the time to understand the situation. Quantity vs. quality is a lesson I learned in such a hard and roundabout way. But that’s probably the only way to learn it.



You really can’t please everyone. Seriously.

Remember how I mentioned that there was point when my mental health was down the gutter? That was also the time I was dealing with relationship issues, people’s expectations, and feeling lost in life. So many people wanted different things for me that I didn’t know what I wanted anymore – if that makes any sense to you.

It got to a point where I sort of imploded, dropped everything, and let everyone down in a way. But that was when I learned that people who truly care about you will support your decisions (unless it’s seriously detrimental like going to an interview in a horse head mask). People who love you would never put your wellbeing in the back seat.

Even now, I need to remind myself that I have to do what is right by me. For example, I made the decision to leave a full time job because it wasn’t something I can be passionate about. The hours were stable and the team in amazing. I could’ve stayed to gain experience, but deep down, I knew it wasn’t going to make me happy. From the wise words of Amy Poeher’s Yes Please, treat your career like a bad boyfriend folks.



Let’s chat in the comments below 🙂

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Author: Jin Cao

I am a multi-faceted designer, fashion blogger, makeup enthusiast, lover of cats, and connoisseur of ramen! Writer of Main fashion writer of Find my work at

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