An emotional person’s musings on new beginnings

The phoenix is such a powerful image. It can raze anything to the ground, but more importantly, it rises from its own ashes. I don’t think there’s anything more badass than that!

Forgive me if you found that cheesy. Maybe I’m excited for Dark Phoenix or saw tons of Pokemon cosplay at Anime North. Anyways, in my perpetual state of quarter-life crisis, I’ve been learning more about growth.



Start from a place of self-love

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Whichever new venture you’re starting, make sure you start from self-love. Start from a place of “I’m pretty great already, but I can be better. I can do anything I set my mind to!” instead of “I need to do this to not feel bad about myself.”

I feel like a lot of people (myself included) have trouble with self-love because we need validation. We convince ourselves that we don’t deserve it unless we accomplish things. But the thing about self-love, it that it’s not a job interview. It’s not about the awards we got, or nice things we have, or recognition. If you think about self-love as something you have to win or prove, you’re never going to truly have it.

I’m sitting here writing about self-love and self-care, but reality is that I’m still working on it too.



Slam the door

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You’re starting a new chapter in life! You’re getting a fresh start, and you can be anything you want! So if you know certain environments or behaviors are no good for you, slam the door on them. Make yourself vows to move on from certain things. And have a way to be held accountable for those vows. Or else, you could slip back into old habits and be stuck in the previous chapter.

One of my friends was given the advice “If you’re not miserable where you are right now, then stay. You don’t want to leave a bad situation and end up in a worse one.” But how would you know if your next situation would be better or worse if you don’t try? All we can do is give the future our best efforts and never look back.



Big change comes from small change

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In movies or TV shows, something groundbreaking would happen and bam! the character becomes a totally new person! But reality is much more different.

There’s no strike of magic, or secret potion, or invincible mentor-character who changes your life and keeps it that way. We have ourselves and that’s really all we have for certain. It’s easy to think of a new beginning as this explosive, wonderful thing. But that new beginning also comes with daily tasks, a painful cycle of growth, jumping hurdle after hurdle, frustrations, late night musings, rejections, internal battles, and so much more than what’s on the surface.

Change, growth, and success isn’t a straight line. And that’s also why it’s important to slam the door on the previous chapter. So we won’t be tempted to go back to the old-and-comfortable when things aren’t going so well.



Are you at a transition in your life? What does the new chapter look like for you? Would you like to see a dedicated post on self-love? Let me know in the comments.



Hugs and kisses,


You can also find me on my personal blog



Author: Jin Cao

I am a multi-faceted designer, fashion blogger, makeup enthusiast, lover of cats, and connoisseur of ramen! Writer of Main fashion writer of Find my work at

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  1. Pingback: What is self love?

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